I found myself wanting to put down some words half way through my working day, this is the result, though it's now a day later and that lunch is long gone!
I just got back from a work trip yesterday, an annual meeting where no fun was planned for the evenings or any kind of pervyness intended. But because I'd mentioned the city of where I was going on Facebook, one of the locals (and old friend) prodded me enough to make some excuses and meet up for a drink or meal out and I'm glad I accepted.
He turned up in his Motorcycle gear which was very nice to see (he wears it very well indeed!) and the evening was very pleasant. What I discovered was that time doesn't go against a friendship, with perhaps the exception of our own minds playing tricks on us, making for nerves which weren't needed, though it perhaps added to the excitement!
This is event which has contributed to me having a spontaneous rethink. This and some other coincidental things in my life have brought me to some conclusions, some positive ones I might add! So I hope to summarise it in a way that really helps anyone who reads this. I really hope it doesn't come across as sarcastic or big headed, I really want it to make a difference.
I've been an active pervert/gearhead for over a decade now and it's EASY for me to sit here typing away and publish some crap I wrote whilst eating lunch working from home. It's easy because I've been doing it for years and I really have as much or as little power by publishing this as I like, because all that matters really is what anyone takes from this, that's totally optional.
Perception of this though is that I would write about my ego and how great I am etc, but actually it's really not...please bear with me and keep reading, it's gets better!
I don't want to assume I'm admired but I would be lying if I didn't admit to getting a few compliments about the things I've done. The thing is I do this because I'm different.
The hardest part of this journey, despite all the ups and downs was the initial decision I made over 12 years ago - to make contact. I remember shaking with so much adrenalin when I first set up my Yahoo Messenger, and then bit by bit exploring daring not to speak to anyone, just collecting photographs which turned me on not really knowing where things would go.
But it became addictive, and I lived for the chance that someone, anyone would have looked at my profile, even though I had no pictures of my own, I had no gear I though was good enough to show off. I mean looks at the gear on show these days, that stuff costed hundreds if not thousands of pounds/euros/dollars*!!
But when I first got a message it became my world, it was so exciting, I'd have done anything to see, or experience something gear related, be touched or just talked to by someone who understood.
I just wish someone had told me the words I'd offered today. Your views, and your imagination cannot be compared to anyone elses. Put simply, without that it doesn't matter what gear you own or pictures you had taken of wearing, doesn't really matter, because that is material.
It might sound completely bonkers for me to say that material worth is irrelevant in this community of material fetishes, but ultimately it's what keeps me going. You might think that it's easy for me to say that with a cupboard full of leather, rubber and sportsgear, perhaps you're right, but I'm not going to throw it all away to find out, this isn't an experiment, just my ramblings. I'm here in this post naked talking to you (not literally, I mean figuratively, I don't want to make you throw up!).
YOUR views no matter what are valuable to everyone else and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Opinions and views are something everyone does have and they are unique, some are unfortunate to only spout hate and unnecessary criticism, those times I just won't entertain a response but everyone has an outlet online.
You may not have the confidence, you may not have the experience, you may not have the body or money, but you have the mind, and the want to be part of it and just to not feel alone or like you're weird.
Well the fact is you are weird, I AM WEIRD, what normal person dresses up as a rubber dog that likes being deprived of air and having various things inserted into my out places, being electrified and tormented (grrr getting a boner now). But even saying that, you don't have to agree with my kinks, you just have to be comfortable with being different and being part of this community, even if you occupy a small corner of it.
This is a community that on the face of it, is very manly, armoured, disguised, anonymous, kinky, devious, scary, intimidating, raunchy, twisted, slinky, messy, powerful, and yet also strangely desirable.....if you give in to that, please don't feel you'll be rejected, because if you recognise ANY of this in yourself, you are one of us, and you are welcome. I just ask that you please continue to help others, don't assume anything is yours to take or is deserved, enjoy contributing back and participate.
These costumes we wear, hide the person within, and more often than not, that person is a sensitive, fragile and precious soul. Perhaps that isn't something anyone wants revealed in reality, but I figure we are of mutual minds on this subject so the risk is minimised.
So the following message is for those who are 'active' and contributing in a similar way to myself...please remember those first moments of terror when you decided to make contact with 'someone' you felt you could approach, because at some point soon that 'someone' might be you, don't leave a sour taste in that new guy's mouth.
Yes we might all have different journeys/stories, and we don't all have time to chat with everyone, so perhaps, maybe this blog will inspire others to reach out and open invitation and pay it back.
Great, now my lunch is cold!
